Monday, September 19, 2016

Slowly Apocalypsizing

I haven't posted for awhile here. A situation has come to my attention that I felt I needed to warn everyone about:
Climbing Turtles

Yes. You heard me, climbing turtles. It started as a small, even funny happening. A couple of children walking home from school came across this bizarre and troubling sight:

"That's cute!", you say. That's what everyone said. And it was; as long as it was only one seemingly innocent turtle. However, as the days passed, more and more turtles began climbing fences, and trees, and who knows what else?

Well, I know what else! Before long they were reaching even higher!

  And higher!

It was only a matter of time before they began flocking, even roosting!

It's becoming a common sight. And, notice, they are targeting microwave towers especially! 

I know, I know. You're saying "that's ridiculous"!

Well, I say it's the beginning of the end. A scourge worse than the zombie apocalypse. Tell the truth now, haven't you noticed your internet signal getting slower? Your cell signal getting weaker? This is just the beginning.

Before you know it, it will all shut down from turtle overload! I'll be right here, okay, maybe not right here, but somewhere I'll be saying "I told you so!"

Take warning before it's too late!

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